Backyard to the Universe
Small Group Ministries
Right of Conscience and the Use of the Democratic Process
AFFIRMATION: The right of conscience and the use of the democratic process within our congregations and in society at large.
We have a say about things that are important to us.
Opening Words/Lighting candle/chalice
To equate the democratic process with voting does a disservice to the process of involving people in decision-making. In order for the process to work, however, there must be
• Involvement, commitment of energy and time to learn what the issues are, to form and express opinions, and to participate in the decision-making.
• Communication, so that people understand what is being discussed, have an opportunity to express their opinions, and follow a decision-making process.
• Knowledge of who, how and when the decisions will be made.
• Understanding of the implications of the decisions, for a specific period of time or ‘final’.
• Appreciation of diversity, as everyone brings different gifts and strengths.
• Follow-through with commitments that result from the decisions that have been made.
Check-in: How are things going for you today?
Topic/Activity
You are invited to explore various methods of decision-making.
Situation: The group is going out to dinner and needs to determine which restaurant to go to: family-type with usual "all American" menu, Chinese, Italian, Mexican, fast food.
• Voting. Each person will have one vote and majority will be the deciding factor. Take a vote without discussion. Repeat the choice, giving time for discussion before the vote is taken.
• Consensus. Repeat the choice of restaurants. Allow discussion until a decision is made. If done well, this does not require a compromise that is uncomfortable for a participant.
• Random. Flip a coin, and call "heads" or "tails" to determine the winning answer. This can be used when there are only two clear choices.
How do you relate to these various types of decision-making?
How does the way that we make decisions affect our sense of self?
Much of what we do with children relates to how we set limits, what the limits are, and the consequences of exceeding the limits. This relates to several styles of parenting, which may be appropriate at different times, depending on the situation and the age/developmental stage of the children. Take the example of going to church.
• Parent as Decision-maker (authoritarian or arbitrary): Children go to church with the parents because this is expected. You may or may not give reasons for going.
• Parent as Supporter (active): The reasons for going to church are expressed, including the meaning of the faith community. The options are presented, with the potential impact of the choices. Child is supported and expected to make own decisions within developmental limitations. It is critical that the adult support and abide by the decision that the child makes (except when the safety of the child or others is involved).
• Parent as Bystander (passive): The child makes own decisions with minimal or no input from parent. The parent may be hesitant about expressing an opinion for fear of influencing the child's decision.
How do you feel empowered or disempowered by the decision-making process?
How does the democratic process enhance spiritual development?
How have you involve children in the democratic process?
How do we involve children in decision-making in the church community?
How can we involve children in the process when the ultimate decision may rest with an adult?
Closing words
How often structures of our society tend to fix people in positions of power over and under rather than power alongside (or with)! Even in our Unitarian Universalist families and congregations, how much genuine power-sharing occurs? We need to practice democracy as a way of truly proclaiming it. This means promoting a sense of diversity, not favoritism; a sense of persuasion, not coercion; a sense of inclusive language, not alienating jargon; a sense of humility, not arrogance.
Zidowecki, January 2006