Backyard to the Universe
Small Group Ministries
Search for Truth and Meaning
AFFIRMATION: Free and responsible search for truth and meaning.
We are always learning for ourselves.
Opening Words/Lighting the candle/chalice
Opening and closing words are from “It's Not Always Easy to be a UU Kid!” UUA REACH, Fall 2000, adapted, Rev. Anne Orfald, with permission
Do you or your children feel isolated as Unitarian Universalists because there are few UUs around you? Do people expect you to believe something different than you do? Are you put down or condemned for your beliefs.
It doesn't always feel so lucky to be a UU kid. Sometimes it is very hard. My schoolmates and playmates were kids who grew up as Catholics and Lutherans and Methodists and Jews. I was the only one in my school, except for my brother and sister, who was a Universalist. It can be pretty lonely. Of course, we didn't talk about religion that much, but when we did sometimes my friends would tell me I was going to hell, because I didn't believe the right things.
My church taught me that Jesus was a good man and a good teacher, but he was not God. And my church taught me that there was no place called hell, where God sent those who were bad, to burn forever and ever. No such place as hell. And my church taught me that God was not a person -- not a Father like so many believed, but that God was a spirit of Love, which is deep inside of us, like a bright light. Maybe sometimes that light is a bit dim, but it is in each of us, no matter what our religion. My church also taught me that we don't have all the answers -- not about God or the universe, or about life and death. I was taught that there are things we don't know for sure.
Check-in: How are things going for you?
Topic/Activity:
The search for truth and meaning carries tensions that provide a balance in the search: individuality versus community, change versus commitment, authority versus questioning.
Individuality versus Community. How do we honor the individuality of each person while realizing that we exist as part of a community? We learn individually, but the faith traditions come as part of a community.
What have you gained from being part of a church community?
How do children feel part of the community?
How do children see you contributing to the church community? (Offering, parts in services, things we do around church, church attendance.) How can they contribute?
Change versus Commitment. How do we balance the need to change and the desire for stability over time? We believe and act in the present. We may give children the different answers over a period of time. The commitment is to the process of the spiritual journey.
How comfortable are you about not having specific answers? How do you feel when confronted by others – sometimes including children – who have defined beliefs that may differ from yours?
Do we expect our children to be Unitarian Universalists all of their lives? What can we do to enhance their ongoing spiritual journey as they grow into adulthood?
Authority versus questioning. While many faith traditions have a sense of authority from a religious figure, deity or sacred scripture, Unitarian Universalists draw inspiration from various sources.
If we consider authority as accepted source of information or expertise, what do you use as the authority or resources for your spiritual development?
Has the source of authority changed over time?
Consider the ‘authority’ or influence that parents can exercise over children at various developmental stages (such as the almost absolute authority in infancy, increasing independence in preschool activities , peer influence in school).
What influence do you have over the spiritual development of your children?
Closing Words:
Well, when that's the kind of teaching you get, that we don't have all the answers and that there are some things we aren't certain about, when you are up against someone who says they do have the answers and they are absolutely certain that you are wrong in your religion, it's not easy! It doesn't always feel lucky to be a UU kid. Have some of you had experiences like that? How does it feel for you? Even for adults, it isn't always easy. What can we say back, when we are pushed to believe as others do?
Maybe we can say, "In my religion we believe it is wrong to try to make other people believe what we do. We believe that the one thing that matters more than anything else is how we treat each other. If we are kind to each other and don't hurt each other, that's what matters, no matter what our religion is. We believe that we have to help each other and try to work together to make the world a better place. If we can all agree on how to treat each other, we don't have to all agree on our beliefs; we don't have to all be the same religion. So don't tell me I am bad or wrong because I don't believe what you do. That hurts me."
It's not always easy to be a UU kid. If it gets hard sometimes, let's talk about it and figure out together how to make it easier. Like talk about it…that is why we have communities of faith.
Likes and Wishes: How was the session for you?
Zidowecki, January 2006